Energy Supply Companies

Oh good grief.
After applying on line to my energy supplier in this case Scottish Power, to negotiate a new tariff I decided to try again for about the 5th time to call them. My monthly payments had shot up by approximately £45 a month. The strange thing was I was £270 over paid.
After being told by the automated system that the queue was 4 hrs I was surprised to be put through to the delight that was Robbie, (sigh)

To start with Robbie was in mid mouthful when he answered my call and by the sound of it proceeded to stuff his face during my call. (rude beyond belief)
I said "I want to change tariff," what too was his reply, "well to something a lot less or I will be going elsewhere." was my reply

So with a lack luster attitude that made me feel as fed up as him he spouted a few tariffs at me. With the result I got the payments back to £145 a month, easy (ya think)
I then asked "when will this take effect?", right away he assured me (ya dancer)

Will I get something to sigh? Probably he said in a really cant be arsed tone. To which I said "probably or I will?"  Yes you will he reluctantly offered.

I then said "I would like my overpayment back"  How much would you like back he enquired.
IT ALL!!!!!
Oh dear lord.
Yes Robbie was probably having a shitty day but, in the name of the wee man.
Instead of coming off and punching the air with joy that I was getting a cheque back for £270 and saving £45 a month I had THE RAGE

So here I am sharing it with whoever reads my drivel.

I have done something I never do, I have written down time of phone call his name and date. Well, not sure Robbie's heart was in it, by the sounds of it he had been out the back smoking a wee joint then came back in to munch his way through his treats from the vending machine.

Jesus Sandals, Really!

A wee quick rant.

On going to work the other day, I stop at the local superstore to get provisions for lunch. There is a guy at the cash line machine.

His attire consisted of, jeans which had been ironed to a crisp with a seam that you could have given yourself a nasty cut if you came into contact with them. A stripy dress shirt that definitely came in a gift set with a matching tie but the worst crime of all had to be the bare feet an Jesus Sandals.

Now it was 8 degrees (not warm) Why oh why Sandals and ruddy well Jesus sandals. I don't think even Jesus himself made those bad boys look cool.

Oh well it could have been worse! He could have put them on with white sports socks.

For those unfamiliar with the sandals find pic below

Stinky People

One of the most disturbing things I find when working with a variety of people is when a full grown adult hasn't learned the art of regular bathing.
Having a kid of my own, it is one of the most fundamental things you instil into them, along with hand washing after using the loo and before eating. Basic personal hygiene really!  A no brainer and becomes second nature!

I am not prepared to then, to go to work and have my nose accosted but a near 40 year old who smells foostie  (see below for an excerpt from Urban Dictionary)
disgusting/putrid/over-ripe/mouldy etc
Scottish dialect (North East mostly), but has found it's way into wider British English

Honestly, this individual has days upon days where he starts off funky and throughout the week gets progressively worse until I swear I can see things buzzing around him.

What must his bed smell like? And shocker of all shockwaves, he has a girlfriend who has recently moved in with him or him with her.

If there was a device to monitor my gag reflex when he stands next to me or squeezes past me much like a richter scale, it would be well off the chart.

Normal people would go OMG he is honking and move on with their day but I find myself fixating on the details. Like why doesn't his girlfriend say "hoy Sir, you smell like an auld jock strap, get it sorted" or "you ain't getting near me smelling like a dead donkeys arse!!!

What must their bed pillows smell like? It's not good.  As for any nocturnal bedroom activities I can't imagine touching a manky man never mind putting any part of him near my mouth.

And while I am on this wee rant. He wears very distinct clothes in all sorts of memorable colours so to top it off, you know that those mustard coloured trousers that he wore on Monday when the flies were buzzing around him then, haven't been near the washing machine. Especially since they haven't been off his arse the whole week. Wouldn't be surprise if he slept in them as it would be hard to peel them off his putrid body.

End of Rant!

Fitness Bores

It's great when someone gets into something, it really is (isn't it)?
If you are the person who is into that particular activity. Usually people start off their latest thing with great gusto and want to share it with the world to keep them motivated. Fair enough, usually they get fed up, give up, move on and shut the hell up but then there is the Fitness/Gym bore.
Nothing makes me want to rip my arm off and beat the shit out of someone more than when they go through their routine.
I am suffering such torture at the moment. Its a shame, this person is nice until they start spewing out their daily or more like hourly spiel. Every conversation can be turned around to their regime.
By regime, it goes through, when they went to the gym, what they did there in great detail, what they eat, how much they eat, how often they eat, how the food was prepared, how the food died, supplements etc etc etc AGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Been going on for months. Even when I blatantly change the conversation back to the original it gets turned on its arse back to them spitting out verbal diarrhoea about how wonderous their new way of life is.
I hear "Look I am eating this, it is horrible but my trainer said I need to eat it" WTF
What struck me the most was that this person was an expert at everything after a few weeks, nutrition, how to use the gym equipment, even down to criticizing guys who had been working out for years.
Sheesh!!!how much of this shit do you need to listen to before you are allowed to stick your hand up to their face and say ENOUGH
Are you allowed to give them a slap if they don't stop?
Never mind. Tomorrow it's someones birthday and guess what? they WILL eat cake. Only after they tell us about the bad fats sugars etc that is in there.  It will be followed by an afternoon of look at me everyone, I am totally hyper because of the carbs and refined sugar.
Tomorrow may be the day I smuggle booze into my work in my water bottle.

Hideous Eyebrow Trend

What is with this stupid trend of people penciling their eyebrows? I understand someone wanting a bit of definition but excuse me and I have been trained in beauty therapy (ok a few years ago now) but make up is supposed to enhance and emphasise beauty. To look as if a five year old has been let loose with a black sharpie on your boat race, well it ain't a good look.

A few weeks ago I was shopping and looking at a stall which was selling hair pieces, accessories etc. the good looking sales girl approached me with what can only be described as 2 black tramlines across her forehead. I couldn't take in a word she was saying to me as I became very conscience of the fact I was staring right at them. She became faceless and my conversation was between me and the brows.
What happens to these beasts when you have had a wee night or (15 mins) of passion? Imagine taking a girl home and going for it like the clappers. Surely this rubs off of the pillows, skin, carpet. I just don't get it. It's like a virus, it seems to be spreading too, like a flipping epidemic.
Maybe I don't get it because I spend most of my time making sure my brows are tidy and don't resemble two hairy caterpillars sitting on my forehead.
Ok feeling better now. But before I wrap this rant up I thought I would include a few pictures of the type of offending brows I am going on about.

Enjoy