Stinky People

One of the most disturbing things I find when working with a variety of people is when a full grown adult hasn't learned the art of regular bathing.
Having a kid of my own, it is one of the most fundamental things you instil into them, along with hand washing after using the loo and before eating. Basic personal hygiene really!  A no brainer and becomes second nature!

I am not prepared to then, to go to work and have my nose accosted but a near 40 year old who smells foostie  (see below for an excerpt from Urban Dictionary)
disgusting/putrid/over-ripe/mouldy etc
Scottish dialect (North East mostly), but has found it's way into wider British English

Honestly, this individual has days upon days where he starts off funky and throughout the week gets progressively worse until I swear I can see things buzzing around him.

What must his bed smell like? And shocker of all shockwaves, he has a girlfriend who has recently moved in with him or him with her.

If there was a device to monitor my gag reflex when he stands next to me or squeezes past me much like a richter scale, it would be well off the chart.

Normal people would go OMG he is honking and move on with their day but I find myself fixating on the details. Like why doesn't his girlfriend say "hoy Sir, you smell like an auld jock strap, get it sorted" or "you ain't getting near me smelling like a dead donkeys arse!!!

What must their bed pillows smell like? It's not good.  As for any nocturnal bedroom activities I can't imagine touching a manky man never mind putting any part of him near my mouth.

And while I am on this wee rant. He wears very distinct clothes in all sorts of memorable colours so to top it off, you know that those mustard coloured trousers that he wore on Monday when the flies were buzzing around him then, haven't been near the washing machine. Especially since they haven't been off his arse the whole week. Wouldn't be surprise if he slept in them as it would be hard to peel them off his putrid body.

End of Rant!